01/10/2022

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Crypto.com pauses withdrawals after theft in several users’ wallets

The cryptocurrency game isn’t as simple as Matt Damon and Tom Brady thought it was, as their beloved Crypto.com platform appears to have been hacked.

Money never sleeps, as the old saying on Wall Street goes, and that is very true of the cryptocurrency market. Just a few hours ago, Crypto.com paused withdrawals from their platform in response to a series of thefts from users’ accounts. Can someone get Matt Damon on the phone?

Jeweler, entrepreneur, and noted cryptocurrency enthusiast Ben Baller claims that his account had 4.28 Ethereum (nearly $15,000) stolen this evening. Ben also points out that he had two-factor authentication enabled, so these thieving hackers had to have circumvented some of Crypto.com’s security protocols. 

Cofounder of Dogecoin and all-around swell dude Billy Markus pointed out a strange pattern of transactions via etherscan. As for what is causing this, it remains to be seen, but are we surprised that a financial platform backed by jaboofers like Tom Brady and Matt Damon caked its pants? Do decentralized finance plaforms have some equivalent of FDIC or SIPC insurance? 

Apparently the clowns over at crypto.com spent too much money on their advertisements and not enough time on making sure their cutting edge financial platform was secure. 

This is a terrible day for clients of crypto.com, and we don’t mean to make light of their financial pain, but events like this highlight how dangerous it can be to put all your eggs in one basket. The basket might have a hole in it the size of Matt Damon’s big, dumb head. If you are one of the unlucky people to have been robbed this evening, please consider tweeting @cryptocomcs, as they appear to be replying to users.

This caps off a pretty crazy first few weeks in the crypto markets. Dogecoin jumped 10% on news that Tesla would be accepting the cryptocurrency on their merch store. It was a ray of hope for dogecoin holders as the coin has fallen nearly 80% from its all-time high last year.

The good old Staples Center in Los Angeles has been rebranded to Crypto.com Arena because this is the worst timeline.
The good old Staples Center in Los Angeles has been rebranded to crypto.com Arena because this is the worst timeline.

In case you were wondering, this is the same cryptocurrency company that bought the naming rights to the iconic Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles. 

What do you think of investing in cryptocurrency? Is it too illiquid and risky for your tastes or are you HODLing to the moon? Let us know in the Shacknews Chatty comments thread below.